A colleague of mine once said, ‘you can have it all, just not all at the same time.’ The highly impatient individual I am took these words as a challenge and decided to have a baby, write a series of books and complete a Masters degree, all at the same time. As much as I resisted those words six years ago, today as I write this blog post wrestling my two-year old son whilst listening to my daughter read a story and cooking dinner, I can totally relate to what she meant.
The months of March and April were a juggle and at times a struggle. There were endless opportunities arising and change all around me. In keeping with my impulse to always say ‘yes,’ I overcommitted myself and was overcome with sheer exhaustion. I had no time to write. I had no time for self-care. I had no time to be in my own stillness for one second. After running myself ragged I was encouraged by a few people to take some down time and I am now very grateful that I whole-heartedly said ‘yes!’
Stepping away from the juggle of my bustling day job, my creative pursuits and endless activities to be calm and present with my children was just what I needed. The quiet brought answers and one of the biggest lessons I now feel I am on the path to learning – set your boundaries.
When you’re like me, a person who is multi-passionate, wanting to do everything and be there for everyone, it is easy to slip away from your true essence and start to actually abandon what really drives you, what we are really here for, the things we often take for granted, the simple things. Being with my children, playing, laughing, creating and exploring, showed me that was it – that was all I need. My children and family are my priority and always will be. The rest needs to work around them and as a parent I need to be conscious of the time I have with them. Saying ‘no’ sometimes is a perfectly reasonable answer. I still struggle to say it, but now I am more forgiving of myself when I do. Setting my boundaries and doing all I can to stick to them has been so liberating. I feel it is slowly bringing me back to what I’m really meant to be doing in this life. I have taken many a detour on my journey and what I know now is that we all need a little down time to regroup and align back to what is actually vital to our existence. You don’t have to be superwoman.
I started to make note of my necessities/non-negotiables in life. These came so easy and include:
- My writing and desire to create – I love being an author. Writing is what I’m meant to do.
- Being of service to those around me – I want to inspire others to dream big and go against the conventional.
- Being a present mother – I want to be with my children as much as I possibly can, especially in these fundamental years.
- Spending time in the company of those who encourage me to live authentically and who make me laugh uncontrollably – my beautiful friends and family.
The rest, I now surrender. The compulsion to just get things done no longer is my single motivator, nor is living the life others may expect of me. The past few months has revealed I don’t want the juggle anymore. It’s time to sit back, take my time and let it be – especially when I’m creating. There are times that I still want to rebel against those words my colleague said to me ever so kindly, after all I am still very impatient (another lesson I am working on) but, I now see the goodness wrapped in those words, the cautionary tale and I will endevaour to take those words on board.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MONTH
I finished the first draft of a new manuscript I’ve been working on! It was a massive feat that has taken well over a year to write. Looking forward to sharing it with you all.
Delighted to be elected to the ACT Writers Centre Board. Such a wonderful organisation that is constantly supporting writers in the Canberra region. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to assist those in the arts community & advocate for creatives in the ACT.If you’re not a member yet I highly recommend joining
Aussie Kids – Meet Matilda at the Festival Book Signing at Harry Hartog ANU
So excited to be offering my creative coaching sessions again If you are looking for a little guidance on your creative path please reach out – I would be happy to help! Further information can be found on my website. Spaces are limited